We all have people that we used to sleep with, a girl usually that we had sex with that left a mark that feels like it will never leave us. When that person leaves us, we want them back. We always want them back – if they have left us then it is always the case that we want to have sex with them again, that given a choice we will snatch them back into our arms in an instant. The length of time that this lasts for can of course vary, for the lucky few it lasts but a moment and then the moment has passed and they move on, for most of us the length or “morning period” is usually directly proportional to the length of time that you were with them multiplied by the intensity of the relationship aka “how much you were into them”. So for those less fortunate few this feeling can persist for a long time. I would like to help with this by explaining why this is happening to you, why you shouldn’t follow this instinct, and what to do about it.
Why you feel like this
- You have been rejected.
- You want what more you cannot have (we crave scarce resources).
- You have been rejected.
- Insecurity also known as “what’s wrong with me” makes you want them to want you again, because then there is nothing wrong with you.
- You have been rejected
The crux of it is in the rejection. When you have been rejected by someone, you become instantly more attracted to them. If you are chatting up a girl and you are too interested, it makes you less interesting to them. We all want and value that which we have to work for, and rejecting someone is the 100% guaranteed way to make ourselves more attractive to that person. Sadly when you reject someone you don’t want them, so this is kind of a screwed up feature in the human makeup.
Why your should not try and get back with your Ex.
You have been down this road, you know where it leads, and where it ends. Unless there is a major life changing and personality shifting event, you are going to finish in the same place, alone and single. Again. If you really want your ex back, you are going to have to be the one to make that life changing move. Change careers, buy a new car, move house and alter your appearance in some way. But this is all fake if you are doing it to get your ex back, and so the road still ends in the same place. Do not do it, do not walk the same road to the same ending. It is not worth it.
What you can do to help avoid this
Have sex with someone else. Preferably lots of someones. There is an old saying, the only way to get over a man is to get under a man. Happy international women’s day everyone – the same is true if you are a man! Go get a fuck buddy, and sleep with other people. The reminder that there are other options out there, that you are not in a world of scarcity will help you to make the mental shift you need to be once again happy in your own skin single.
So get laid, and get over it. Never, ever go back.
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