Fuck like you are going to die tomorrow

In modern times we all live quite measured and careful lives. We get up, have a morning routine that we rarely break from. We go to our regular jobs, do a similar thing all day long, eat lunch in the same place, talk to the same people, before heading out at the end of the day. We then perhaps go and grab a drink in our regular place, before going home to watch the same TV show and have our usual meal. In amongst this somewhere, we have sex. It doesn’t matter where in your routine you do this, the thing that always happens is that the sex becomes regular. It becomes routine, and routine is the death of exciting sex. As flight of the conchords put it so well in their spoof song “business time”- things just become regular. So what can you do about this?

Remember that you are going to die

This may sound like an odd thing to say, but bear with me. The thing that allows routine to set in, is our belief that we are going to live forever. We don’t have to do that today, we can do that tomorrow. We can allow ourselves to have ordinary days, ordinary weeks because we can be amazing next week, next month, or next year. We don’t have to have the courage to do something now, because we can always do that later. The most powerful antidote for all of this?

• Accept that you are going to die. If you embrace this, the power that this brings can really set you free.
• Understand that you have no idea when this is going to happen. Perhaps you will die tomorrow, or next week, or next year. No one can really tell you when your time will come to pass on.
• Take action to do things that you want to do now. This becomes easier by far, because you come to realise that if you do not do it now, you don’t know when you are going to be able to do it.

Now psych yourself up to remembering your death before sex

If you do this, if you can work yourself up to a state where you know that this might be it, all “routine” goes out of the window. Suddennly this could be the last time you have sex – this really brings you into the moment and makes you super present. During sex if there is something spontaneous that you feel like doing, or there is boundary that you have always wanted to push – you will push it, because what have you go to lose. You will feel that urge to push someone against a wall with desire again, you will really in your gut want to take the person. You will, in short, fuck the person like it is your last time, and that will take you to a new level, possibly one that you have never been to before.

Try this, take yourself through this process and fuck your f-buddy like you are going to die tomorrow, and you will find yourself feeling like you did in the early days of sex again.