We often read about the most ingenious, fun looking and sensual positions for sex, but have you ever wondered just how easy it is to achieve any of them? Porn movies might make some positions look as easy as strolling down the street, but the fact is the human body is designed to ‘do it’ in a fairly standard and practical way. That’s not to say you can’t have variations on a theme and there are hundreds of different ways we can have sex with each other. Yet there are some positions which are more challenging than others. It’s these positions we’re going to share and warn you about. They could be fun, but don’t try them without checking on whether or not you can actually achieve any of them.
Cosmopolitan is one of the most dangerous magazines you can read when it comes to trying out new sex positions. Most of them risk serious injury. Let’s review to highlight.
1. Canoe Canoodle
Cosmo loves alliteration. Shame it doesn’t live in the real world like the rest of us. If on the off chance you happen to have access to a canoe without a team of other canoeists nearby, why the hell would you want to have sex on one? First you’re more likely to capsize together than have sex, and secondly, have you ever tried to lie down in a canoe? Only for the truly stupid.
2. Stair Sex
There’s a reason stairs exist; they’re for walking up and down. Unlike the floor you can’t just lie down and start shagging. You’ll get bruises in places you never thought you could get bruises. You also risk potentially debilitating back injuries. By all means give it a go; just don’t blame us if you end up in A&E.
3. The Tawdry Tube
Cosmo strikes again. Not only do the writers of this ridiculous guide want you to get in an inner tube in the water without falling off, they want two of you to do it and have sex in it without falling off.
4. The Bridge
Have you got your orthopedic specialist to hand? No? Don’t try this sex position at home until you do. Basically it involves the man lying between two separate surfaces as his partner clambers up on top of the ‘bridge’ he’s made and lower all their weight on him. You could have sex, but it won’t be fun for him as his back will probably collapse.
5. The Balancing
So We Women wants you to lie down on a man’s penis balancing all your weight on it? Better have 911 on speed dial before you try this one.
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