Compatibility is the key to having a great time in bed with someone. People often mistake sexual compatibility with character similarities. This is far from the truth! Whilst it is necessary to have a certain shared foundation for the way that we view the world, the key is to find someone that balances where you sit on the sexual spectrum. Whilst there are many area’s that one could talk about, for the purposes of this article, I am going to focus on just one area, and that is where you sit on the scale of sexual assertiveness.
How you are in life is not how you are in the bedroom
Many people assume that how people in their day to day lives is how they are going to be in the bedroom. Take a strong leader in their work lives, say a CEO of a large company with multiple people working under him and the livelihoods of multiple families dependant on the company that he runs for their day to day sustenance. The assumption would be that he would also want to assume a dominant role in the bedroom, that he would naturally enjoy being in charge, leading the interaction and generally getting things his way. The logical assumption is that he would be “dominant”. Infact this is anything but true. He could easily be craving time away from being in charge, a relief from the responsibility and pressure of leading everything all of the time. This may not be the case, but be wary of assuming in advance what someone is going to enjoy.
Once you recognise what you “are” – seek someone who balances this
If you can recognise the role you would like to assume during your sexual exploits, then all you have to do is seek someone who balances this. If you wish to be dominant and in charge in the bedroom, then find someone who is more submissive. They will enjoy having things taken care for them. Equally if you wish to be more submissive and take the follower role, find a partner that actively enjoys leading. The secret here is that if you find someone that *wants* to take the opposite role then you will *both* be happy with the sex.
Finally – note the more extreme you are the more extreme an opposite you need
It is worth noting that if you are mildly dominant you want someone who is mildly submissive. The reverse is true. If you are extremely dominant then you need someone extremely submissive in the bedroom. Find your polor opposite and you will set yourself up for mind blowingly successful sex.
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