How to deal with sexual rejection

No one likes to ask the difficult questions when it comes to sex, which is why we write this blog. We’re not naïve enough to think that every hook up you have is going to be amazing. We are here to try and make sure that when you do hook up you have the best possible chance of making it amazing. But biology is biology and sometimes when you meet someone in person the connection you think you felt so strongly online just isn’t there.

So here’s how to deal with sexual rejection because at some point it will happen to you.

Sexual Rejection – How to handle it
1. Don’t take it personally
We’re hard wired not to take criticism. In some ways it is a fatal flaw in our character (and kind of explains why so many political leaders are complete dick heads) and why so many relationships fail. When it comes to casual sex it is really important to be relaxed. If someone just doesn’t fancy you it is no bad reflection on you – it just means you’re not their type. Getting angry and insulting about it just shows you to be childish, immature and serves to justify the other person’s rejection of you. Who would want to have sex with someone like that?

2. Don’t grovel
The opposite to getting angry is to grovel. This demonstrates that you have a very low opinion of your own value which is a huge turn off sexually. Grovelling for sex is not attractive and will not help you get laid. You wouldn’t be satisfied if someone has sex with you out of pity so don’t beg. There’s someone better for you out there anyway.

3. Express yourself
This is a fine line to tread but it is possible to express your hurt or frustration without being insulting. If you’ve been rejected state your feelings about it clearly and succinctly finishing off by saying that you’re saddened that they feel that way, but fair enough and wish them all the best. This shows you to be mature and more able to find a sexual partner you do have chemistry with. It might also make the person who rejected you stop and think a bit about how they handle themselves in the future.

4. Phone a friend
Sexual rejection is horrible…and what do we do when we experience something horrible? We phone a friend and talk/rant about it! To prevent yourself from having an angry meltdown or an upsetting grovel session call a friend and let rip to them. They’ll understand and be supportive as well as offer you suggestions on how to pick yourself up from the rejection.

5. Remind him/her you’re a total badass!
Finally the very best thing you can do when you’re sexually rejected is to remind the person who rejected you how much of a cool catch you are. Take the rejection with a shrug, say ‘fair enough’ and make it clear that you’re moving on to find someone who definitely won’t reject you. If you think you can get away with it, parade another hook up in front of them to remind them what they’re missing…although that could be deemed ‘childish’ so play that one by ear.

Just keep trying and you’ll find the fuck buddy for you!