For most of us sex happens in the same places. There may be more than one, but often we cycle between the same settings, and even the same times of day as well. As humans we are creatures of habit, once we learn that something both works for us and i good we tend to stick within those bounds. We all know it, its called our comfort zone. This is not a bad thing by any means. One of the core requirements to reach orgasm is lack of stress, and familiarity brings with it a bucket load of confidence, which can easily help to translate to a really good time in bed!!
That being said, there this can also kill excitement, and exciting sex is really important. The more you sleep with someone the harder it is to create – but fear not! You can always generate exciting sexy time! So where can you start?
Break the location routine:
An easy way of making it exciting is to alter the location. If you are nervous about doing this, you can easily do this by simply changing the room in your house in which you are having sex. By keeping it still in your house you remain partially inside your comfort zone, however a simple change of room can be enough to jolt you both into really waking up and being in the moment. This is really what it is about as well in the foundation – being in the moment.
Once you are comfortable with this, try and think about really different places you can get laid, ideally where you have never done it before. Are you inside? Outside? In a hotel? Away from where you like on a weekend away? At work? Don’t restrict yourself to only thinking conventionally as well. I once had sex inside a cupboard in order to mix things up – and damn that was great! Any change can do it!
Break the time routine:
I put this second because it is the harder one. Alter the time at which you have sex. If you never have it in the morning, then morning sex could be really exciting – especially if you later text the person to remind them that they had slept with you that day already!!! Never had lunchtime sex?! Well I would say that now is the time! Again the important thing is simply that you *change* things.
Break the position routine
The sexual position you use can massively change how much you and she enjoys the session. It is very different for different people. So for some people they really like to be able to look into the other person’s eyes in order to visually connect whilst getting their rocks off. Other people are much more sound based and feeling, so they like it from behind, and nothing turns them on more than the sounds of moaning and groaning that go with an occasional slap on the behind. I know one girl who hasn’t had a truly satisfying sex session unless she is black and blue by the end! We all like different things... and what I am encouraging you to do here is just that. Make it different.
Whatever you are not doing right now, try it. Do a position you have never done before or that you rarely do. Even if it not the “preferred” position, the change will bring with it many advantages of again bringing you back into the moment. That is really the name of the game, being in the moment. If you are struggling for ideas help is at hand! There are countless resources on the internet of different sexual positions, and if you prefer the human touch a bunch of people here on this website ready to give you direct advice. You only have to ask!
Change the mood – change *your* mood
Most of us have a certain mood we are in when we have sex. Try changing this. So if you are usually really happy and smiley then try is serious. If you are serious try it playful. If you are both of those try it intense, even a little angry or demanding. It is important to remember that you are *playing* so if the other person really doesn’t like it stop, take a reset and go back to something more comfortable. If you like telling the person beforehand that you are going to try it differently makes the change a lot safer to play out.
This one can be very powerful indeed. It is a tricky one and requires you to both remember that you are playing around, and to be sensitive to the other person whilst trying it. If you are nervous – get them on board with it. I have a standing agreement with my lady that one day if we have a really intense argument she is allowed to slap me really hard as long as I get to have angry sex with her afterwards. I have no idea how that is going to work out when it happens; the important thing is to be open to trying different things out. You never know what will be fun till you do it.
By the way – did I mention to bear in mind that you are playing ;-)
Experiment and be bold!
This is the best advice I can give you over all. Experiment and be bold with your choices. If you think something would be fun, just try it. Remember, if you are being spontaneous and in the moment, the other person will not be able to help themselves from getting caught up in the moment and coming along for the ride, especially if it is your idea. Everyone loves it when it is the other person’s idea because then they take no responsibility, they get to just relax and enjoy themselves. For you – the best part of taking responsibility is that you get to do the things that you would really like to do.
So be bold, be brave, and mix things up!
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