It is very rare that you meet up with someone and jump straight in the sack. In the films, characters often meet up, and they are taking each other clothes off during the small talk stages. Sadly this does not reflect life. When you meet up, there is a process of spending time together before you jump into the sack, a time of acclimatisation. This is no bad thing. Half of orgasm is about the state of your mind and emotions, and this crucial time gives you the space to “warm” up your partner. It does not matter how much they want the sex, or even how in agreement you are on it! This could be the prefect fuck buddy, someone who is totally down with the no strings relationship approach to life. Their sole purpose for being in your house could be to have sex with you, an outright hook up with the clear understanding that they don’t want the paraphernalia that goes with the relationship side of things. Even in that situation, there is still a period of warm up, of a having to find your feet with each other, even when you know where each other’s “feet” are! Let’s take the example of a someone you have slept with multiple times. They are a fuck buddy, and they have booty called you for a one-night stand. Even in that situation, you still need warm up time.
Why is there this hiatus?
Personally, I think that it functions in several ways:
- It gives you time to become comfortable in the space you are in. If you are the one that does not live in the location of sex, you want a little time to be subconsciously sure there isn’t a danger lurking in the background of the building. Remember, you are about to get naked, you are about to become really vulnerable. You do not want to do that before you are comfortable that it is a safe space.
- It gives you time to assure yourself that nothing has changed with the other person. You need a few moments to reassure yourself of what you are about to do. This pause allows that to happen.
- It gives you time to turn on and be turned on. You want to be horney before the first kiss in the ideal situation. This time allows that change to take place.
So embrace the pause, and use it well. It can make the difference between an okay night, and the most explosive orgasm you have had all year.
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